Broken Promises

Never make a promise you can’t keep, a broken promise makes a lie.

I’m a big believer in the words above, and the most important of my personal values is honesty. I can’t stand lying, no matter how big or small or innocent it may appear – if you can’t or won’t admit something, you should never have done it.. and if you did, admit it and own it – everyone makes mistakes, it’s the lies which really hurt.

Its the time of year I can’t help reflecting on the year gone by and the future to come. It’s also the time of year when I decide what I would like to achieve next year – this goes across all areas of my life from work to hobbies to our family. I often find myself making promises – to myself, my partner and indeed to Monster. Not just because of New Years but also its our anniversary which always makes me reflect on our time together.

Unfortunately a lot of the promises I make are not actually things that I can control.. and thus I end up realising I have broken another empty promise.

On the whole, most of the promises I have broken have been to myself and my partner of the following themes:

  • Things will get better
  • Next year will be “our year”
  • We’ll have a break for the two of us
  • We just need to get over this hiccough and then everything will be ok

I have made these promises with a focus on positivity and hope, I always try to maintain a positive outlook and find the silver lining in the darkest of clouds. Every year, I really believe in what I’m saying and the promises I’m making, but these promises have all been broken, not because I have done or not done something to cause it.. but the promises were broken nevertheless.

I have also broken many promises to monster… “we’ll see you in 3 sleeps” “we can definitely do that next week”… but for one reason or another, we don’t. The circumstances leading to this are inevitably outside our control but they make us liars to monster. Then we are left with the unenviable job of trying to explain why we didn’t come through without portraying any negativity on any other external factors. This is the kind of promise we have to keep making and keep hoping we won’t have to break but it never does get any easier.

For the fifth time, I am hoping that next year things will get better, that we will we able to prioritise ourselves and enjoyment, our relationship. Every year, there is more reason and likelihood to believe that things will get better and stay better, unfortunately thus far, things have also got worse in unexpected and sometimes (for us) inexplicable ways.

This year I will make no promises to myself or my partner that our problems will disappear or even improve. Because a lot of our problems are not actually with ourselves and therefore are not in our control. I can’t even influence or affect them, so how I could I ever assume to make a promise to make it go away? It sounds so obvious when I write it down!

This week, month and year – I will not make any promises or commitments to improve anything I do not control. The only commitment I will be making is that I will try to deal with everything life throws at us in the best way for my family and make the best of all the good times. This year, we will carry on, safe in the knowledge that we’re doing the right thing and we will try not to be engulfed in any negativity we don’t create.

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